18) Consciously Model Patterns of Excellence!

by Adam Khoo

Some people acknowledge the power of modeling; however, they feel
uncomfortable about copying someone else's style. They say, 'I am
not comfortable with this as I feel like I am not being myself. I
am trying to be someone else instead'.

As a result they deprive themselves of the power of modeling
excellence and producing exceptional results in a short time.

Well, let me ask you a question.

Think about the behaviors and physiology that you exhibit right
now. Where did they come from? Were you born with your gestures,
mannerisms, tone of voice and behaviors? No. You behave the way you
do now because ever since you were a kid, you had been
unconsciously modeling the behaviors and physiologies of the people
around you.

Do you realize that the way you speak or react to things may
sometimes be similar to your parents or your close friends?
And, the mannerism or gestures you exhibit could have come from
people whom you admired (for whatever reason), and unconsciously
adopted as your own. So, you have already been modeling your whole
life, this is nothing new.

The problem is that in the past, you did not consciously model
people of excellence. As a result, you may have unconsciously
modeled a lot of ineffective behaviors and negative states of the
people around you.

For example, if you are a poor mixer or ineffective communicator,
it is because you (unconsciously) modeled poor speakers and
communicators when you were young.

If you are a poor decision maker and constantly find yourself
feeling anxious and lacking in confidence, it is because you have
unknowingly adopted the patterns from your friends or family.
Haven't you ever behaved in a certain way and suddenly realized,
'oh my gosh! I'm becoming mother or father!'

So, isn't it time you start to consciously delete ineffective
models of the past and start modeling and adopting patterns of
people who exhibit excellence instead?

Another point to understand is that modeling is not just about
copying. It is about replicating and then improving on what you
have modeled, or modifying it to suit your personal style.

For example, if you were a woman and you were to model the
physiology of a male speaker exactly, it may not come off that
well. You may have to modify elements of that person's physiology
to suit your personality.

Model the best patterns, combine and adapt them to make them your
own. That is what modeling is all about.

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17) Values Your Driving Force

by Adam Khoo

Have you ever wondered what really drives you in your life? Why do
you do what you do? What drives your decisions and the choices you
make constantly?

Our behavior is driven more by emotions than by logic. What we do
is based more on what we feel like doing rather than what we think
we should do.

Logically, we know that we should take action and
follow through on our goals but emotionally, we may be held back by
feelings of lethargy or even fear.

For example; logically, you know you should not smoke because it is
a waste of money and could kill you and loved ones who inhale your
secondary smoke. Emotionally, you still continue because of the
emotions of relaxation or sense of control it gives you.

More specifically, there are two kinds of emotions that drive us
constantly. They are positive emotions and negative emotions.

Whatever you are driven to do, you do because you want to move
towards positive emotions like happiness, security, power, success
and freedom. At the same time, you are moving away from negative
emotions like fear, depression, physical pain, loss or insecurity.

Why we behave like amoebas!

Amoebas are single celled organisms. When you put food in front of
an amoeba, it starts moving towards it. When you place a hot object
next to it, it moves away from the heat source.

If you were to put food on one side and heat on the other, it would
drive the organism to move even faster in the direction of the food
and away from the heat.

This may seem rather obvious but what we must realize is that we
behave exactly the same way an amoeba behaves. We have to be aware
off the 'food' and 'heat' that drives us constantly.

Think about all decisions people make constantly. Are they
logically or emotionally driven? Why do people get married?

People may get married because they think marriage would move them
towards positive emotions of lasting love and happiness,
companionship and comfort.

There are also couples who decide to marry because they think it
will move them away from negative emotions of loneliness,
depression, and insecurity.

Yet why are there people who swear never to get married? It's
because they have attached very different emotions to the idea of
what getting married means. They stay single because they think it
will bring them loss of freedom and happiness.

These people avoid marriage because they may have seen unhappy
marriages (perhaps their own parents' unhappy union), and they
believe that by remaining single they are moving away from loss of
freedom, boredom and from ugly quarrels and unhappiness.

Do all of us want the same kinds of positive emotions? Do we also
want to avoid the same painful emotions? Yes! All of us desire
recognition, success, happiness, comfort, security and freedom.

At the same time, all of us will do what we can to avoid
embarrassment, rejection, boredom, physical pain and poverty.
However, in our minds, we place very different levels of importance
on these common emotions.

Only by being aware of the values that drive us will we begin to
understand why we make certain decision in the past or present.

Only then will you begin to realize why you are experiencing the life
you are living out presently. This will enable you to find out the
reasons behind you achieving or lagging behind in your pursuits.

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