17) Values Your Driving Force

by Adam Khoo

Have you ever wondered what really drives you in your life? Why do
you do what you do? What drives your decisions and the choices you
make constantly?

Our behavior is driven more by emotions than by logic. What we do
is based more on what we feel like doing rather than what we think
we should do.

Logically, we know that we should take action and
follow through on our goals but emotionally, we may be held back by
feelings of lethargy or even fear.

For example; logically, you know you should not smoke because it is
a waste of money and could kill you and loved ones who inhale your
secondary smoke. Emotionally, you still continue because of the
emotions of relaxation or sense of control it gives you.

More specifically, there are two kinds of emotions that drive us
constantly. They are positive emotions and negative emotions.

Whatever you are driven to do, you do because you want to move
towards positive emotions like happiness, security, power, success
and freedom. At the same time, you are moving away from negative
emotions like fear, depression, physical pain, loss or insecurity.

Why we behave like amoebas!

Amoebas are single celled organisms. When you put food in front of
an amoeba, it starts moving towards it. When you place a hot object
next to it, it moves away from the heat source.

If you were to put food on one side and heat on the other, it would
drive the organism to move even faster in the direction of the food
and away from the heat.

This may seem rather obvious but what we must realize is that we
behave exactly the same way an amoeba behaves. We have to be aware
off the 'food' and 'heat' that drives us constantly.

Think about all decisions people make constantly. Are they
logically or emotionally driven? Why do people get married?

People may get married because they think marriage would move them
towards positive emotions of lasting love and happiness,
companionship and comfort.

There are also couples who decide to marry because they think it
will move them away from negative emotions of loneliness,
depression, and insecurity.

Yet why are there people who swear never to get married? It's
because they have attached very different emotions to the idea of
what getting married means. They stay single because they think it
will bring them loss of freedom and happiness.

These people avoid marriage because they may have seen unhappy
marriages (perhaps their own parents' unhappy union), and they
believe that by remaining single they are moving away from loss of
freedom, boredom and from ugly quarrels and unhappiness.

Do all of us want the same kinds of positive emotions? Do we also
want to avoid the same painful emotions? Yes! All of us desire
recognition, success, happiness, comfort, security and freedom.

At the same time, all of us will do what we can to avoid
embarrassment, rejection, boredom, physical pain and poverty.
However, in our minds, we place very different levels of importance
on these common emotions.

Only by being aware of the values that drive us will we begin to
understand why we make certain decision in the past or present.

Only then will you begin to realize why you are experiencing the life
you are living out presently. This will enable you to find out the
reasons behind you achieving or lagging behind in your pursuits.

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